\
JEFFERSON STARBUCKS\
\
The Scene:
\
\
The Starbucks Licensed Stores Awards ceremony, a celebratory/motivational leadership conference,\
held in the fourth-floor ballroom of the Washington State Convention Center. 'Boring stuff, as usual corporate\
things go,' writes Cilantro. But things took a turn for the surreal when the emcee announced 'Something special for you\
all--Jefferson Starbucks!' after which the hydraulic stage rotated to reveal a pretend band\
comprised of the upper-management folk the audience had heard speak earlier in the evening. 'They were standing in front of a huge\
American Bandstand-esque 45 single dangling in the air. They all had on rock 'n' roll Halloween costumes:\
pink glitter wigs, white fishnet shirts, fake leather pants, as well as big fake instruments--a huge, oversized pinata guitar\
and keyboards.' From this most promising of plateaus, Jefferson Starbucks quickly ascended to the heavens, lip-synching\
their way through a company-specific rewrite of Jefferson Starship's 'We Built This City,' reborn as 'We Built This Starbucks'\
with lyrics rewritten to celebrate the Starbucks way. 'The crowd was stunned,' writes Cilantro. 'Eventually, the emcee berated them--'Come on you guys!\
Dance! This is your band! This is for you!'--and the crowd half-heartedly got up and just stood there.' (A moment of silence for the million\
deaths experienced by the audience during the song's merciless 4:48 running time.)
\
\
--David Schmader,
The Stranger's 'Last Days' columnist,\
via
Slapnose.com\
";
break;
case 3: //no disc sale - mp3s only - MP3s button
mDiscBuyLink = "All the Mp3s
